Takers vs Givers

Who are Takers and Who are Givers?

To start, let us put it this way, a taker never gives, a giver never takes. But before I get into explaining who I think we should aim to be, establish one thing in our minds first. Everyone pays by giving something for something to be taken in return. It is all a barter system one way or the other. You pay by giving your time on the internet to get information in return. You sell your skills at your workplace to get paid every month. Ultimately everything comes down to give and take. You give your time, effort, or money to get something in return. I know this might make you furious but let us assume everything is "give and take," then even the feelings are "give and take" in a way. I apologize, but please bear with me for now. You either feel for someone because they did something for you, or they for you because you did something for them. Whether good or bad, we all take something in return for what we give. Similarly, we pay something in return for something that we have taken. Everything comes with a "conditions apply" written in small such that it is difficult to read. Hehe. And maybe that Is also the reason we get upset or start disliking someone we do something for, and when we look up to them in times of need, we do not get the help back. But, you may be asking, are we not expecting too much from people?

That is why you must learn to be the perfect balance between a giver and a taker. When to expect and when to not. So in this world of "Give and take," is there anything unconditional or anything that is without a motive? Well, I think the only free feeling is the unconditional love our parents have for us. And unfortunately, some of us do not get that either.

Takers are bad people. They take as much as they want to and usually without realizing it. Please, don't get me wrong here. I will explain further. Nor do they steal things from you, neither am I talking about materialistic things alone. I mean in terms of anything. Tangible or intangible. They feel it is okay because the givers will not mind them taking from them. May it be an idea, a style, your skills, your things, etc. Without giving anything in return, not even respect. That is what takers are. They are toxic. They will take what they like regardless of how you feel. Takers usually can be found trying to maintain an image of having a wonderful life in public. But in person, they will have only tears to share with a giver. (Again, let me warn you, it is just a simple tactic to gain sympathy.) Takers are also shameless and lack or have no sense of self-respect. They won't mind asking you for help even after they have treated you wrongly. But Takers are also very weak-willed. They can't get themselves to do something, so they always rely on someone to hold them up. They are very fragile and can break very easily. They always need someone they can feed on, just like parasites. And they never forget that. Takers will take as long as the givers will give because givers are good people. Unfortunately, too good. Givers give even after being treated wrong. That is why they are the only ones left hurting because they have given a lot before running out of resources. By the time givers realize they are in short supply of their resources, it is already too late.

But there is one thing that givers usually forget about themselves. Givers are fighters and are very strong. They have stood much longer through much more difficult times than the takers have even seen. Givers have done a lot, and that too without realizing it. They have not just fed themselves but also the takers in their lives. And that is how givers are, built like workhorses. And hence become very hard to break.

How do you learn that someone you want to deal with is a giver or a taker?

It is simple. As everything is "give and take," you have to pay for information as well. It does not necessarily be monetary payment and can also be in terms of your time and effort. You see, you pay for everything to get anything you wish to have. Everything comes at a cost. You spend your time on YouTube to get information. You spend your time reading books to learn. You spend your money and time in an institution to get educated. You give presentations, interviews, or ideas to get a job or a promotion. You pay for EVERYTHING. Your skills and your time are the ORIGINAL money that you spend to get something. Similarly, You have to help someone to know if that person is a giver or a taker. It is not as wrong as it sounds. It doesn't mean helping is bad nor means selfishly helping others, only to know if that person is beneficial to you or not. No. Helping is good. My only point is, help people who need help. Guide them. Teach them rather than feed them directly. You may know this, "Give the beggar a fish, and he will come back again the next day asking for it. Teach the beggar how to fish, and he will feed himself for the rest of his life."

Teaching and guiding is the best way of giving for a good cause than to directly helping someone in terms of money. But in some cases, where you have to help with money, you have to be careful and watch ahead before dealing with people. If you are even a little skeptical about it, don't do it right away until you have done your research about the person. And even after the findings, if you don't have enough info, help from the part of your money that you don't mind losing. Simply putting, take only if necessary and you know for sure you can give it back. Give only when you know you have enough and won't affect if nothing is taken in return.

All of this may sound very wrong, but it is a harsh reality. Never forget to be kind and polite. You helping others never makes you bigger than them. Treat everyone right. All the best.