Credit vs blame

Before we get into deep things, let us look at what the internet search results showed me. Giving credit means to publicly acknowledge the contributor's role in the production of something. Putting blame means to feel or declare that someone or something is responsible for a fault or wrong.

Huh! We all know that. What is there to not understand? If you go back a bit and go through what I just said and rephrase it a bit, both of them are very similar in some form of phrasing. Okay, I will make it simple. Pay attention. Credit, to hold someone responsible for a good thing. Blame, to hold someone accountable for a bad thing. Do you see? The only factor that differs is that one has a positive weightage and the other one negative. Well, that is how it is. As simple as that.

You will find this happening everywhere. Nobody wants to take the blame, but everybody wants credit. Sometimes for things that they did not do and blame others when they don't have the guts to stand responsible for their actions. They blame anything or anyone they can get their hands on. For example, a glass breaks, or a cat crosses your way, and other superstitious beliefs that we humans have created. These exist so that it is convenient for us to blame someone or something for the unwanted situations we put ourselves inside. If only we could stand up for our actions honestly, I believe it is enough to create a better world for everyone. We blame it because it is easy. It is easy to satisfy our conscience for our failures if we have something or someone to blame.

I failed because you were late. I failed because you did something. I failed because you did this. I failed because you did that. These are all ways we blame because we find it easy to put on others than to stand responsible for our actions and their consequences. I think if we stand accountable for our actions, there might never be any conflicts.

Our choices are in our own hands. We get what we deserve in return for our actions. It is our decision. Nobody is to blame for what we decide. Nobody can be. Even when we ask someone to take action for us, that is our decision. It is our own choice. Now what comes in return for those actions is the thing that we asked. We chose it ourselves. Allowing someone to decide for us is also our decision. Then why blame?

Let me take an example. A simple one, indeed. You and your friends visit the restaurant. And one person who gets up to order asks you what you would like to eat. You reply saying anything is fine, Your call, Whatever you can, or You choose. It was us who gave them that burden to select for us when it was our own decision to make. Now whatever comes out of that decision is what we rightfully deserve. Hehe. Now, if you don't enjoy the dish the person ordered for you, you can't go blaming him for it. Simple? That is why nobody wants to take the blame. Everybody is ready to give it.

On the other side, everybody wants credit for something or the other, even if they have not contributed to the task in any way. But they are not willing to give unless it is too necessary. Getting credit for something makes a person feel bigger. Of course, there are humble humans in the world who do not give a damn about credit. For these people, credit is more like respect. That is all they want if they have contributed to the task. But some want credit to satisfy themselves with feeling bigger than others, and some are just desperate for credit. It is even funny how they will keep giving you free advice and be the faux well-wisher. When the truth is that all they care about is to get a chance when they can say to you that they told you so, or, I was the one to told you to do so.

I own a moped. It is like a scooter but with automatic transmission. I have had this issue with it every morning that I start it up. I have to kick start it before I can cell start because the engine fluids settle down overnight. Sometimes if I accidentally cell start it up first, the engine sucks up some air, and then it won't just startup for a while. Then I have to open the fuel tank cap and kick it a couple of times. Sometimes I have to pull the choke lever while kicking. After a few tries, the engine starts running. So that is what I have to do every day. And have to do maybe until I am driving a car regularly. Now, to the point, one fine morning, a nosy family friend pops up. He sees me struggle with the scooter and tells me to open the fuel lid. Guess what? I do it. I keep kicking after I open the lid. Then he asks me to pull the choke. Guess what? I do it. And after I have kicked a few more times, he asks me to move aside and let him try. I move aside and giving him the grand opportunity. He kicks, and the engine starts up. He looks at me with a proud grin and claims his victory saying, "I knew this was it." I could only reply to him with a lame face and a thank you too.

You will find such people who want to blame to keep their shoulders light. And some who want to take credit to feel substantial than you. Let them be who they are. You don't have to justify yourself or try to prove them wrong. You will only have to stoop low to do so and then later find yourself at their level. Just get away from them. What goes around comes around. Keep your head low and keep hustling. You will only get what you asked for, nothing more or nothing less. Stand right and take responsibility for your actions. Also, understand their consequences before taking action. Then to later regret them and then blame on anything or anyone, only to convince yourself it wasn't your fault. Those will be considered only as excuses out in the world.

Remember, Excuses are not reasons. Reasons are not Excuses. There may be reasons why you couldn't complete a task. Those reasons will be solid. Reasons that everybody who is depending on you will agree and accept. They won't be an excuse because they will have something to teach you from that failure. And excuses never have anything to educate you. Oh! And Lastly, I just remembered one more category of people that exist in this Credit Blame Game. These are the kind of people who give excuses just so that they do not have to take responsibilities. In order to avoid any risk of having to take any blame. Credit doesn't mean much to them but having to take blame is too much to handle. So they avoid taking the responsibility in the first place. They justify their excuses with explanations of how it is not possible by them. For example, by saying "How will I do this work if I don't even know how to do it?" or "Oho, I am already occupied with something right now that I can not avoid, I am sorry." Well this isn't true most of the time, but when it is, you will instantly know that the person is simply giving excuses to evade from the responsibility. That is something you will learn to be able to do.

I want to share this quote I learned as a kid. "Once you take responsibility to start something, don't give excuses to leave it incomplete." We all only need to stand responsible for our actions and their consequences. I think that is the balance we need to bring into our lives.